December 2011
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's...
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mom: come down for dinner
me: ok
five minutes later
mom: I SAID COME DOWN FOR DINNER NOBODY EVER FUCKING LISTENS TO ME IN THIS HOUSE YOU GUYS DONT APPRECIATE ANYTHING
me: ok *goes to the kitchen* wheres the food
mom: oh its not done yet
When someone tries to correct you when you know,...
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everyone else: i'm getting an ipad and a laptop and $300 worth of clothes and...
me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK
Shutting your door to force your pet into spending... →
funniest10k:
Reblog if there's no snow for Christmas where you...
reblog if this ISN'T your first Christmas on...
Puppy tastes lime.
kjakerz:
I pissed off some teen age kid at a table I was...
Me: I'm sorry, I'll be back with the right plate
Him: whatever
*as I turn to walk away*
Him: *talking to his friends* he's probably a homo, he's too distraught.
*i turn back to the table*
Me: you know, you shouldn't talk about the dude who's about to serve your food, right beside him. Also, learn the definition of homo, it's a root word that means, "man" in which yes I am a man, more of one than you will ever dream to be. So if you're intentions were referring to me being a homoSEXUAL as in MAN-sexual, which I am, then use a correct form of it. Now, sit there little boy, while this gay man goes to get your food for you.
*i leave and come back*
Me: here's your AIDs stuffed burrito you ordered.
His friends tipped me $20
^ I love you
Fighting:
8letters-3words:
heyfunniest:
How white people fight:
How spanish people fight:
How BLACK people fight:
How ASIANS fight:
That sad moment when the garbage goes out more...
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